Can Couple Counseling Help You?
Check it out for yourself.
Print out two copies of the following couple counseling questionnaire.
Each one of you should complete the survey separately, answering "Yes" or "No" to the all the questions.
- Do you feel there is "space" in your marriage for you to grow and be yourself?
- Are your needs just as important as those of your partner?
- Can you communicate them clearly?
- Do you assertively express your feelings?
- Do you and your partner spend time together in shared activities?
- Do you have other meaningful relationships and interests?
- Do you find it easy to talk with each other?
- Do you find it easy to listen to each other?
- When you attempt to resolve a conflict or make a decision is your negotiation fair and democratic?
- Do you fulfill each other's sexual needs?
- Do you share the chores and responsibilities of the marriage/family equally?
- Do you support each other's relationships with family?
- Is your marriage free from intimidation and abuse of all kinds?
- Are you able to care for each other in times of hardship or illness?
- Do you trust your partner to tell you the truth at all times?
- Do you feel good about yourself when you are with your partner?
- Do you have clear and explicit agreements and boundaries (yet allow for flexibility)?
- Are play, humor, and having fun together commonplace?
- Can you let go of the need to "be right"?
- Are you open for constructive feedback?
- Are you capable of forgiving yourself and your partner?
- Do you accept your mistakes and learn from them?
- Are you willing to take risks and be vulnerable?
- Can you enjoy being alone and is privacy respected?
- Do you take responsibility for your own behaviors and happiness?
Compare your answers.
Then, make a list of all of the items that either one of you answered "No".
Discuss the importance of these qualities. If there are several, and you feel they are important, discuss how you can work toward achieving these goals.
If you struggle to communicate, or cannot agree on important characteristics of a healthy relationship you may want to consider couple counseling.
