Marriage Advice: I Don't Feel Sexy Anymore
Question
I've put on a lot of weight since I got married and now I am embarrassed to undress in front of my husband or wear sexy outfits like I used to.
My husband keeps telling me that he loves me and it doesn't matter to him, but it matters to me!
I don't feel sexy anymore.
What can I do?
Our Marriage Advice
First, congratulations! You're incredibly lucky to have a man who loves you and finds you sexy just the way you are.
The real problem is, you don't believe him, and the solution is to turn your doubt into belief. It is simple, but not easy.
I want you to pretend you are the sexiest woman alive.
Go and put on an act worthy of an academy award. Forget that you don't feel sexy and go out and buy a sexy outfit - and wear it... run a scented bubble bath for the two of you, soak in the tub, and tell him how much he means to you... put on some soft music and slow dance together... whatever turns you on (or used to).
Yes, you can, because you will quickly discover an amazing truth. What started out as pretense becomes real.
But don't we have to feel a certain way before we can act that way? Absolutely not! In fact, just the opposite. In this case, act sexy and soon you'll feel sexy (If you wait to feel sexy again before you do sexy things, you might as well just switch on the TV and watch each other turn gray).
When someone asked Cary Grant how he became the sexy man that every woman wants, he said: "When I was a gawky, awkward teenager, I used to pretend that I was a ladies man, and I don't know when my pretend self became my real self."
Act as if you're the sexy woman you want to be, and sooner than you can believe, you will be that woman - you'll feel sexy, desirable, irresistible (just like your husband believes you are already).
