Marriage Advice: Seven Easy Ways To Improve Your Marriage - part 2
by Nancy Wasson
4. Make time for vacations. The Wisconsin Medical Journal reported that when 1500 women were asked how often they took a vacation, 20% said that it had been six years or more. These non-vacationers were more likely to be stressed and unhappy in their marriages.
Every day life can get so bogged down with details, work, and loose ends that fun and romance can easily become buried and neglected. Remember the old saying, "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy."
The same is certainly true of relationships-if there's no time to play and have fun, then dullness, fatigue, and boredom often take hold. Passion and romance thrive on stimulation, building positive new memories, and the excitement that change brings.
Just leaving home and seeing and doing different things can be energizing and perk up a stale relationship. The vacations don't have to be expensive or exotic. Consider staying at a state park or camping. Explore off-season rates and advertised motel specials. Put on your creative thinking cap and see what's possible.
5. Remember to hug your mate each day. Doctors at the University of North Carolina have found that hugging boosts blood levels of oxytocin, a relaxing hormone that is linked to trust.
According to Kathleen Light, Ph.D., professor of psychiatry at UNC and one of the study's authors, "It is safe to say that oxytocin is linked to emotional as well as physical closeness in partners...."
Make it a point to initiate more hugging, and don't be bashful about asking for what you need and want. Ask your mate to join you in some bear hugs each day or a session of snuggling on the sofa as you talk. You'll both feel better afterwards!
Note: If "hugs = sex" in your marriage, it's time to make a change. Many wives complain their husbands only touch them-hold hands, hug, kiss, snuggle-when the husbands want sex.
These wives often try to avoid physical contact with their husband because they don't want to get him aroused. This leads to a pulling away and a lack of on-going closeness and connection. Thus, it's important that hugging not be just a prelude to sex.
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6. Celebrate days that are special to the two of you. Take the time to record the special days on your personal calendar so you won't forget.
What days should you celebrate? For starters, include the day you met your spouse, your wedding day, your partner's birthday, your birthday, New Year's, Valentine's Day, and any other dates that have significant meaning or cause for celebration.
Through the years, I've heard many spouses express hurt that their mate never buys them a gift, even for their birthday. There's no special dinner or birthday cake-nothing.
They might not receive a Valentine's Day card or a Christmas present, either. I'm always sad to hear this, because it seems like such a loss of an opportunity to celebrate. And the message delivered to the mate is she (or he) isn't valued and treasured.
Life is short, and you can't take your beloved partner for granted. Look for every opportunity to celebrate your love, your marriage, and the fact that you're alive!
7. Smile More Often. A genuine smile can warm the heart and make you more attractive to your spouse.
That's because smiles are sexy as well as contagious, and the energy they produce can give you and your spouse a needed boost just when you need it the most.
Smiling connects you to others so you aren't aloof and separate. A warm smile invites your spouse to come closer, to connect with you, and to linger in your presence. You'll feel better and so will your spouse.
Related Articles: Marriage Advice: Eight Steps To Marital Harmony Marriage Advice: What To Throw Overboard When Your Marriage Is In Trouble Considering Marriage Advice For The Newly-hitched! Just Married- Take Some Vacation Marriage Advice Marriage Advice Your Mother Never Gave You! |
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