Marriage Advice: Ten Danger Signals To Watch For In Your Marriage - part 1
by Nancy Wasson
Healthy marriages require time, attention, energy, and vigilance. It's not realistic to think that you can have a super marriage without effort on your part.
It pays to be observant, to ask questions when you don't understand something, and to notice changes in behavior, tone of voice, and attitude. Communication experts have found that only seven percent of our communication is verbal, while the other ninety-three percent depends on body language and tone of voice. Thus, it only makes good sense to pay attention to much more than just the actual words a spouse says.
There are ten danger signals that can help you to head off trouble in your marriage before problems become more serious. Pay attention when:
1. Your spouse acts upset but says "Nothing's wrong" when you ask, yet you're sure there's more to it. Trust your intuition about this. Females in particular are prone to say "Nothing" when asked "What's wrong?" This often indicates that there is something they need to say, but they don't feel comfortable saying it. Work on creating a safe environment for the sharing of mutual concerns.
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2. You ask your spouse about something and get a listless, barely audible "Okay, that's fine," but the tone doesn't sound sincere. This response is similar to number one. What's usually obvious from the tone of voice and other non-verbal communication is that most assuredly something is wrong. Everything is not fine. And if that "something" doesn't come out into the open where it can be resolved, it will pop up later and cause difficulties.
3. Your spouse is unusually anxious or agitated when you walk in unexpectedly while he or she is on the computer. It may just be a coincidence, but it could also be that your partner is involved in doing something that he or she doesn't want you to see. To know if it's nothing or if something is brewing will take observation over a period of time. Becoming involved with someone online isn't harmless, as some spouses will claim. It robs a marriage of commitment and focused energy, plus it can lead to an affair in real time.
4. You observe that your spouse is being secretive about cell phone calls or text messages. Sometimes spouses will find a partner hiding in the closet or locked in the bathroom talking on the cell phone. This is certainly something to pay attention to, but don't jump to conclusions. Just observe for awhile. Sometime there's a rational explanation such as a spouse who is making secret calls to set up a surprise birthday party for the partner. But if that's not the case, the secret calls could be a signal that your marriage is in danger.
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Marriage Advice: Ten Danger Signals To Watch For In Your Marriage
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