Is Marriage Counseling The Answer? - part 1
by Alan Stafford
All married couples face problems from time to time. Some couples have more problems than other couples, and sometimes these problems become major issues within the marriage. Issues that cause the eventual separation and divorce of the couple. When husband and wife feel they cannot resolve the problems themselves, they will sometimes turn to third party professionals for help. Sometimes the couple turns to a marriage counselor for advice and help in saving the marriage.
Some critics of counseling have made the argument that marriage counseling actually does more harm than good to relationships that are on the rocks. The problem is not that counseling itself is bad. Anything that promotes better communication between a husband and wife can be a good thing. Instead, there can be a problem with the counselor herself. Specifically, the counselor's training and style of practice can make a difference in the counseling the couple gets.
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Look for a true couple's counselor
There are many therapists that claim to be couples' therapists. This claim is based on the assumption that two people create a couple. A couple is not a headcount, but rather two individuals who share an intimate and complex bond with one another. A couple is a unique entity that is more than just the sum of the two personalities. Some so-called couple's therapists treat couples the same way they treat individuals, thus leading to some serious counseling problems. Individual therapists work to discover the wants and needs of the individual. Whenever a couple has incompatible needs and wants there is a danger that the counselor who was trained as an individual therapist will take sides. It's this incompatibility that caused the couple to seek a marriage counselor in the first place. But taking sides is not just unfair; it's also the quickest way for one partner to leave the counseling. Who wants to feel as if he's wrong or outnumbered in the counseling sessions? Make sure that your counselor is working for the benefit of the couple, and is not taking sides.
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Is Marriage Counseling The Answer?
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