Is Marriage Counseling The Answer? - part 2
by Alan Stafford
Do some research on your couple's therapist. Ask if they have gone through training to deal with relationship and couples issues. Ask about previous clients - how many of the couples they have worked with actually stayed together and how many have split up? You'll both want a high level of trust and confidence in your marriage counselor to be able to discuss with her the things you couldn't discuss at home.
Do they walk the walk?
Be sure that you feel as though your therapist values your opinions. Whenever the two of you do not agree on an issue, see if your therapist can help you develop a third way, an alternative solution. Ask about your therapist's values on marriage and relationships. Are they themselves married? How many times? Any professional's advice becomes a little suspect if they themselves don't walk the walk. While education is all well and good, sometimes hands on experience can bring new light to a discussion.
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Lastly, even if your therapist is doing everything in his or her power to help you, sometimes there is a mismatch. If you're not making the progress you want, try a second therapist or seek out other professional help. If your counselor is truly a professional, she will understand and even agree with your decision to transfer. After all, it's your money, and your marriage.
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