Marriage Counseling: How To Get The Most Value For Your Time And Money - part 1
by Nancy Wasson
Marriage counseling is an investment of money, time, and energy that can give you and your spouse valuable lifelong benefits.
If the two of you are going to make a serious commitment to staying in counseling until you've worked through the problem areas, you may be looking at going once a week for three to six months or longer. So it only makes good sense to want to get the most value from your marriage counseling experience.
The following suggestions can help you to get the most from your marriage counseling investment:
1. To locate a counselor with a good professional reputation and track record, start by asking your family physician for a recommendation. Also ask any friends or family members who have gone for marriage cousneling or who might be in a position to know. You could also ask your minister, priest, or rabbi.
If you can't come up with any recommendations that way, then look in the yellow pages under counselors, psychologists, social workers, and marriage and family therapists. Read the various ads and see which ones appeal to you. You can also look online to see who in your geographic area is advertising and what information is available.
2. Before you make an appointment, ask about any areas of concern that you feel are "must know" ones. If religious orientation is important to you, ask your questions up front. "Are you a Christian counselor?" is a commonly asked question, and it's asked by people from both sides of the issue-those who want a Christian counselor and those who don't.
Some therapists will agree to a free short five-minute telephone call with a prospective client, while others simply do not have time in their schedules to do so. Ask the receptionist when you call what the counselor's policy is.
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If you cannot speak to the counselor prior to making an appointment, leave one or two of your most important questions with the receptionist and ask her (or him) to call you back after she finds out the answer from the therapist.
3. If you have narrowed your search down to several potential therapists but can't decide who to work with, you might want to consider making an initial consultation appointment with each one. Level with each counselor and tell her (or him) what you're doing.
If any of the counselors are upset by this, then that is not the person you need to work with. Experienced professionals know how important a good match between therapist and client is. They should be supportive of you and your spouse's efforts to find the best therapist for the two of you to work with.
4. Use the initial consultation appointment to ask your questions and get a sense of the therapist's style, personality, and orientation. Ask about success stories and how long you and your spouse will most likely need to attend counseling. Ask if the therapist assigns homework or not.
You should leave the appointment with an understanding of whether or not the therapist will always see you together or if you'll sometimes be seen separately, the therapist's general approach to marriage counseling, what to expect from therapy, what the goals are, and the projected number of sessions it will take.
5. Pay attention to your intuition and "gut reactions" during the appointment. You want to work with a counselor you can feel comfortable with and trust. If you feel a sense of rapport and connection with the therapist you select, you'll have a better chance of making the most progress.
Some personalities fit together better than others. A person with a sense of humor generally won't be able to relate well to a humorless therapist. If the therapist reminds you of your fifth grade teacher who you detested, it's best to find another counselor.
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Marriage Counseling: How To Get The Most Value For Your Time And Money
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