Marriage Counseling: What Do Wives Really Want In A Husband? Part One - part 1

by Nancy Wasson

Numerous men have pondered the questions, "Why does my wife say she's unhappy? What does she want that I'm not doing?" Many of the men raising these questions have been blindsided by a wife's confession that she's not happy in the marriage and wants a separation or divorce. I've seen many examples of this dynamic in marriage counseling sessions that I've conducted.

It can be confusing to try to figure out what a partner wants. And men, in particular, are having a harder time than ever because of changing expectations on the part of many females. In the past, it was enough for a husband to be a good provider, to have stable employment, and to bring home an adequate paycheck. If he didn't ordinarily drink too much, gamble his paycheck away, mistreat his wife, or blatantly run around, then he was considered a "good husband."

But now, that's not enough anymore for many females. Enter the age of the "soulmate"-a word that signifies a deep bond and heart connection, someone who's on the same "wave length" as his or her partner. Soulmates are compatible and bring out the best in each other. The relationship has satisfying intimacy and includes friendship and companionship as well as love.

 

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The connection between soulmates is sustained by emotional intimacy and the delight the partners share at having found each other. They share feelings easily and keep each other informed as to what they're feeling, what concerns they're wrestling with, what they're worried about, and what their hopes and dreams are. Soulmates often say they feel a spiritual as well as an emotional connection to their partner.

A number of couples feel deeply connected at the beginning of their marriage. Both individuals are trying their best and are putting genuine effort and energy into the relationship. Even reticent, quiet males often make an effort to talk more and connect at this early stage in the marriage.

Read the end of
Marriage Counseling: What Do Wives Really Want In A Husband? Part One


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