Marriage Counseling: What Do Wives Really Want In A Husband? Part One - part 2
by Nancy Wasson
But, over time, the quality of the relationship can change-often for very understandable reasons, like parenting demands-and wives may begin feeling disconnected from their mates. Many husbands do not understand the importance of strengthening and nurturing emotional intimacy in a marriage. They may not feel comfortable sharing their feelings. In fact, they may not even be able to put their feelings into words and communicate them to their spouse.
A friend's husband once remarked that he'd rather stick pins in his eyeballs than have to share his feelings. And as a counselor with many years of experience, I know that he's not alone in feeling this way. Many men feel the same way.
The old model of marriage demanded a "real man," and a "real man" didn't cry, didn't show his feelings, and didn't talk about his feelings. He was strong, always in control of his emotions, and he solved his own problems without help from anyone else. While he was being emotionally strong, his wife was usually feeling increasingly distanced and disconnected from him.
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Some men have asked, "Well, what do women want, then? Do they want us to act like their female friends do?" The answer is both "yes" and "no." No, they don't expect their husbands to be as interested in every little aspect of certain things as their female friends are (planning a baby shower, deciding what dress to wear to a special event, for example). But yes, they do expect to get emotional support and sharing of feelings from their husbands on a regular basis.
So what's a husband to do who has neglected this vital area of staying emotionally connected in a marriage? For specific recommendations often used in marriage counseling, read Part Two of "What Do Wives Really Want in a Husband?"
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