Help! Marriage Problem - part 1
by Donald Mills
If your marriage has been spiraling downward for a while, figuring out the problem can be akin to dealing with a house infested by termites. Even if you were able to put all those termites in front of you, it would be virtually impossible to identify which one was the original source of the problem. Extensive marriage problems can easily be triggered by an action, a comment, or even a look that uncover the differences in perspective. In some cases, that original trigger can be remembered by the offended spouse over decades.
Of course, it is in the course of a fight where emotional responses are most likely to take precedence over rational ones. Emotions tend to escalate as the couple comes closer to the threshold of divorce. And, unfortunately, most couples will not seek help until they're standing on that line, at which point it's usually too late. However,in seeking help for a marriage problem, you're taking that very important first step that can allow the marriage to survive. So here are a few things to absolutely avoid doing during the course of an argument if you're looking to salvage your marriage:
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Make threats about divorce.
If you have decided definitely to pursue divorce, the news should come at the point when you have come to a degree of peace about the decision, not in the midst of a heated argument.
Comparing your spouse unfavorably to others.
If you want to drive a further wedge in your relationship, say something like "Why can't you be more like Mary next door? She doesn't look like she complains about every little thing." It is a sure way to breed resentment.
Read the end of
Help! Marriage Problem
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