No orgasms, frustrated beyond words.

by Tiffany
(MS)

I have done a lot of my own research. My sex life with my husband has never really been exiting, although, we have had our moments outside the bedroom.
Unfortunately, when we do venture outside the bedroom I am never able to orgasm.
I have always had a problem reaching climax and it just seems to be getting worse.
A couple of months ago, my husband got so frustrated with not bringing me to climax that he got online at work to try to find out what he was "doing wrong."
However, a co-worker saw what he was doing and took him to a porno site. I found out 2 days later by seeing the search for "pictures of naked women" when I was typing in a url. This devastated me.
We spent 3 days discussing what happened, crying, and he made me many promises that he had no desire to see naked women and would never look any thing up on the internet again, regardless of how many times I am unable to orgasm.
He is a Christian and his strong standards are why I married him. However, I am still unable to trust him after this.
Every time we watch TV I am afraid he will see a half-dressed woman and will revert back to the things he saw on the porno site because he did confess something to me.
In the two days that I didn't know what happened, he told me he was struggling with the images he saw. However, when I found out he asked for forgiveness from me and God, not to mention the preacher the Sunday morning preached on pornography helped a lot, and he told me since he asked God for forgiveness he no longer had a problem with the images.
I made him promise me to talk to me if he ever even thinks about the porno, and so far he has not come to me.
This was the second worse fear I have ever had for a relationship, and to find out that it actually happened was probably worse than something tragic happening to him.
I have forgiven him and the pain of this has begun to subside. But not one day passes that I don't think about what happened and I am afraid that this is making our sex life worse.
Before this incident I was able to orgasm about five or six times a month, but this month it only happened two times. I am increasingly frustrated and am so fed up that I am ready to give up trying.
Like I said, I have done my research and understand that this could be a psychological problem.
Also, I have tried masturbation to try to understand how I need to orgasm. However, this is NOT working for me.
I try to guide my husband but he fails to understand and just gives up.
Also, this is causing a decrease in sex drive and between this and frustration I do not want to have sex with my husband anymore.
We have only been married a year this week and this is not a great way to start our second year of marriage.
I want help but do not know how to overcome the several problems we are facing.