Relationship Advice: Jealousy - Am I Going Crazy?
Question
I am so jealous when my wife looks at someone else. I feel sick.
It can be my best friend or the waiter or even some guy in a movie!
I trust her, but at the same time I want to lock her up where no one else can get to her.
This is driving me crazy.
Any relationship advice for me?
Our Relationship Advice
Our first relationship advice to you is: firstly you need to learn to trust YOURSELF!
You don't feel that you are good enough so you are threatened by just about anything.
A casual glance that means nothing would be interpreted, due to your own sense of insecurity, as something desperately threatening or fearful to you. Your own fears and issues start talking inside of you, telling you things like: "Why is she looking at him? Does she find him more attractive than me (or smarter, or stronger)!"
You need to get rid of this negative self-talk and you need to discuss your insecurity with your partner and let her know how you feel.
You think you're not good enough, and that terrifies you. Find out when and how this insecurity developed (you may need your partners help here) and deal with it.
Remember she married YOU and she loves YOU!
One relationship advice is the use of visualization techniques.
Try some breathing exercises whenever you begin to feel threatened. This will stop you from saying something hurtful or making accusations, which you may regret later.
Another relationship advice is to use affirmations, which are also a good way to boost your self-esteem. Get hold of a few good ones and use them whenever you feel threatened.
Your wife also needs to reassure you that she loves you and will never do anything to hurt you.
It is also important to find out where the jealousy you are experiencing comes from. If you believe your partner is with you only because of your good looks or just for your money, you live in constant fear (even if you don't admit it to yourself) that she might leave you. Why? Because every other person who shows up, every human contact your partner has becomes a threat to your marriage.
Learn to trust your wife. Believe that you and your wife will have a blissful marriage, regardless of whether or not you have a great job, whether or not you're a great lover, because both of you want to be together and your fear of losing her thus vanishes, and it takes the jealousy with it.
Your wife will always be there because she chose you, exactly the combination that makes you uniquely who you are. You're free to be who you are in the moment.
For any relationship to be alive and growing, both partners need space and freedom.
There's nothing wrong with being jealous. It is how you deal with it that makes all the difference.
So TRUST, RESPECT and LOVE yourself first and then your partner - HAPPINESS will be yours forever!
We hope this relationship advice works for you...