Why Aren't You Using This Marriage Saving Tip? - part 2
by Larry Bilotta
To her, a gum chewer might as well be scratching nails on a chalkboard or screeching a fork against a plate.
The main idea you should walk away with from this marriage saving tip is that you need to discuss with your spouse WHY you do things a certain way, WHY you hate certain things and WHY you love other things.
NOTE: Be sure to talk about the 'problem areas' in your marriage. That IS the point of this discussion after all. Give your spouse your perspective on 'hot topics' in your marriage which could be anything from punctuality, family values, religion, eating habits or even personal privacy.
Ask your spouse questions and have them do the same. Ask questions like.
1. "Honey, when you were young, did your mother or father have a problem being on time?"
2. "What happened in your childhood that makes you hate clutter and messes so much?"
WARNING: Don't make this sound like an accusation! If you do, your positive discussion will be over!
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When you ask your spouse these questions, s/he will probably struggle for words or not come up with an immediate explanation for WHY he or she does these things.
And that's okay. Try to jog his/her memory by recalling your own memories about this subject.
For example: "The reason I __ (fill in the blank) __ is because my parents __ (fill in the blank) ____ when I was a child."
Remember: You and your spouse were shown how to live by your parents or guardians. They shaped most of what you value and believe in today. The point of this discussion is to understand WHY the two of you disagree on any given topic. This will help the two of you accept each other because you'll no longer feel threatened by your very different values in life.
So there you have it. Use this marriage saving tip to get to the source of your problems instead of focusing on the 'little issues' (like gum chewing). If you don't know which values are causing conflict in your marriage, you'll never be able to truly resolve your disagreements.
When I finally understood WHY my wife's values were so different from my own, the stress in my marriage was DRASTICALLY reduced. I know you'll find the same to be true when you put this marriage saving tip to use in your own marriage.
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Related Articles: Saving Marriage Five Effective Ways Of Saving Marriage Marriage Saving Advice: How To Have A Soul Connection With Your Spouse Saving Marriage After Adultery God's Blue Print For Saving MarriagesJean LeStourgeon |
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