Sex Advice: How to... Sensational Sex
Question
What should I do to give my wife a sensational sex?
Our Sex Advice
First, it's important to set your mind at ease and into the mood for sex to happen. Clear your mind of the thoughts of the day. Stop that inner chatter, and focus on being about to receive your due pleasure. Turn off that telephone and make time for you.
Set the mood
Start with sensual time together. Run a bath and light candles while pouring in your favorite bubbles and scent. Put relaxing and sexy music on the CD player, set aside some natural soothing body lotion or oils and dive into the warmth of the water for relaxation time.
This is a terrific way to relax together and get into the mood for lovemaking. You might give each other a back scrub or rub-a-dub-dub in all the right places, to allow those tight muscles to soften and to get your heads into gear for the delicious road ahead.
After drying off and heading to the bedroom, take your turns to give and to receive a sensual massage. Make this touch, softly, firmly, gently, slowly, to produce even more relaxation. Remember that great sex usually only occurs in relaxed bodies, so take the time to prepare yourself.
Focus on foreplay
Many women need to have their breasts or nipples touched to become aroused. Have your lover include this in your prelude to sex, to ignite your energies. If you need some help, check out our Art of Lovemaking email course.
Most people need to be kissed before feeling sexual. So start exploring each other's mouths. Learn to look eye to eye for that connection while you penetrate and probe each other's mouth with your tongue and breath.
Oral sex is a valid sexual exchange, of course. But for most women it is NOT foreplay, whatever their male partners may say.
Most women require foreplay in a variety of ways - deep connective kissing, passionate breathing together, eye contact while caressing and being caressed, massage and fondling, licking and sucking of breasts and nipples.
But oral-genital contact is another level for most women. When a woman's genitals are stimulated properly she can achieve her first orgasm, which we highly recommend before the penis goes anywhere near her vagina.
Know thy genitals
You should spend time at least once learning about your own anatomy. By sitting naked in front of a mirror and visually exploring your own landscape, you will find answers to your own questions about how you look and maybe how and why you do or don't work to your sexual capacity.
Find her hot spots
For women there are three possible areas for penetration and stimulation, not counting the mouth: the G-spot, vagina and anus. Probing and rubbing inside the first third of the vagina, either by hand, penis or vibrator, can bring a G-spot orgasm that produces heights of enjoyment.
You can try toys that appeal to both of you and pick those that work for your particular style and wants. Some women need more direct or indirect clitoral stimulation while their partner is inside, while others need their partners to lick them to their zenith while having a finger or vibrating internal rod probe her deeply. Some women's excitement grows with a finger or vibrator in their anus.
Only you and your partner will know what does the trick for her anatomy, her sexual response pattern, your own relationship and the interactions that emerge between you two. Each couple have their own manner of expressing sexual energy, sharing loving feelings and lustful ones, and intermingling bodies. Find your own brand of merging and then add to it...