Sex Problems and Marriage - What's the Connection?
The old joke is that once married, sex is considered a pleasant memory.
But sex problems and marriage don't need to go hand-in-hand.
You can still be hot for one another, no matter how long you've been together
Mention the concepts of sex problems and marriage to almost anyone, and the response is likely to be a wink, a nod, and a bunch of jokes. "Want to practice abstinence? Try marriage." Another one: "Definition of 'safe sex?' Marriage." You get the picture.
These jokes cut down to one of the main issues we see when it comes to sex problems and marriage - boredom. At the beginning of a relationship, partners are hot for one another. They can't keep their hands off one another, and if the relationship gets that far, they end up in bed as often as possible.
But it seems that once the "honeymoon phase" of a relationship is over (typically one to three years) and reality sets in, the heat level goes down. Every day life with its infinite distractions, from kids to careers, sets in. As a result, sex takes a back burner and is relegated to the miscellaneous category.
The way to reduce the boring sex problems and marriage is pretty simple, though. Don't make sex boring.
"Easier said than done," you might be thinking. But the good news is, with a few minor changes, you can shake up intimacy with your spouse. Sex problems don't have to be a part of marriage. Study the following:
Talk about your fantasies with your partner. Then do them. We all have fantasies when it comes to sex, but when it comes to voicing those fantasies, we're afraid our loved one might think we're strange, kinky, depraved, and so on. But when you approach your spouse with an attitude of "I enjoy our sex life, but I always wanted to try . . ." you could be pleasantly surprised at the response.
Schedule a date night. This is a favorite peace of advice from almost everyone who has talked about or written stuff on sex problems and marriage. There's a good reason for it. Date night means you and your spouse can give each other undivided attention without distraction from everyday things. It means you can dress up for each other - like you used to do when you were courting, and were physically drawn to one another.
Indulge in public foreplay. No, we're not suggesting you strip off where everyone can see you and go at it. But don't be afraid to kiss, hold hands or touch each other where others can see. Remember how you used to do that when you were dating? It can have the same effect on you both now as it did at that time.
With a little ingenuity, you can take care of boredom when it comes to your physical relationship, and help get rid of any potential sex problems when it comes to your marriage.