we've become totally mismatched
by Les
(Indiana)
Hello
My wife and i are each in our second marriage, and this will be 6 years for us. We love each other and get along fine. In general, i think the relationship is healthy...except...
We can't even talk about it anymore...it's become the "s" thing or word
at first, coming off a bad marriage where my ex and i hadn't had sex the last 5 years we were together, any sex was great. it really was. however, after my new love and i lived together and eventually got married, i started feeling "urges" to expand, get more adventurous. I sat on this for a while, because i was afraid of rejection and embarrassment. Finally, i felt safe enough to share. She gamely tried to go along (nothing harmful here, nothing illegal, nothing humiliating--just a bit of kinkiness and adventure, that's all)...
well, this has gone on for a few years now. i think knowing what she knows about me and my sometimes-odd interests has diminished her sex drive (she occasionally tries to get interested, but in general, she's uninterested in ANY sex, let alone more adventurous stuff). mine has only increased. In addition, she's raising her oldest grandson (brought to live with us against my wishes), has a job she has come to hate, is overweight, has health issues (often tired) and self-image issues.
Her lack of sexual interest and a almost non-existent range of interests has left me feeling deprived, unwanted and often fantasizing. i realize that at age 50, with low income (mine, not hers) and being a very small male (physically), with no experiences in dating (what little i had was not very pleasant), i wouldn't stand a chance "out there" even if i did want to leave my current relationship. Fact is, i don't. BUT, i'm hurting and feeling desperate now. My wife simply throws up her hands, calls herself a "bad wife" and says she can't do anything to change this. i want to make this work. I'm even desperate enough to seek out help in chemically reducing my libido--IF it can be done safely.
HELP!!!!!!
